Barcelona is one of the first stops you should make if you are willing to see one of the most famous phallic buildings. This city, apart from being the busiest and most visited destination in Spain, also hosts the Agbar Tower (Torre de Agbar), built in 2005. It was designed by the architect Jean Nouvel, in Plaça de les Glories Catalanes. The Agbar Tower’s shape is 33 stories high, plus four underground levels. Unofficially, the tower is also called the Suppository, of course as a result of its shape.

Who hasn’t heard and wanted to visit the Empire State Building? One of the most popular and emblematic buildings of New York, this is also a phallic structure. It is 102 stories high and it used to be the highest building in the world, until the World Trade Center twin towers were built. Nowadays, the Empire State Building stands as the fifth tallest building in the world, and the second on the Americas. As of 2001, since the destruction of the WTC, it has regained its status of the tallest construction in New York.

The city of romance and good cheese, Paris is the host of two such structures. One of the phallic architectural monuments that can be admired in the French capital is the Luxor Obelisk, a structure that was built over 2 centuries ago by the Egyptians. It stands erect in the Place de la Concorde, all of its 23 meters. And then, Paris has its very famous Eiffel Tower. This phallic structure is 324 meters high and it has been standing as the tallest building in Paris for over a century now. The Eiffel Tower is one of the main touristic spots the city has to offer.

If you want to stand proud gazing at more phallic structures you may want to visit London. Have your umbrella with you though. The Swiss Re Building is situated in London’s financial district with an imposing height of 180 meter. The shape of the building led to nicknaming it as Gherkin and Crystal Phallus. It was opened in 2004 and it is one of the most innovative buildings in the world, in terms of reducing energy consumption and being built exclusively with recycled and recyclable materials. Nonetheless, London’s Big Ben also measures up in the famous phallic structure race. Famous in this rainy metropolis, the Big Ben is over 150 years old and its bell (that is actually the Big Ben) symbolizes hope during World War II – the clock tower not being touched by the unfortunate events was quite amazing.

A few examples of many more phallic buildings, bear in mind that it is highly likely you will come across a standing structure you can be proud of and joke about.

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If you ask me, being known for your penis and having people worship you for it is every man’s (not so secret) dream. We love our penises so much we are constantly in contact with it, we grab it, we make reference to it in order to win over arguments and constantly lie to women about the size of our penises by exaggerating how magnanimous it is. The penis, your own penis, is a powerful element and it is what defines us men, and our manhoods. Without it, we are women.

Before entering a gender debate, let’s just say penises are incredibly important to men, and this Kinley dude hit the jackpot making his Twinkie famous. Basically, he achieved the impossible. Legend say Kinley used his penis to defeat and gag evil female devils, turning them into protective deities, through what the Bhutanese refer to as divine sexual experiences. Basically, Kinley did every wife, sister and niece he could find, all under the greatness of his powers. Hitting women on the head with your penis would be considered an offensive and diminishing act, but not for the Divine Madman, as Kinley is affectionately called.

Today, people adorn the inner and outer walls of homes, eateries and other buildings with phallic imagery. A representation of the Divine Madman’s power of salvation, the penises painted on the walls and the very explicit wooden sculptures seen all over town have long been watching out for Bhutanese people and their well-being.

As several Bhutan locals state, the penises protect them from internal family quarreling and casts a protective mantle over those living in the house. Monks in town preside religious rituals with a wooden penis held by a silver handle. It is said to have been brought by the Madman himself from Tibet, and therefore it is used to bless devotees of Kinley by hitting the on the head with it. Funny how Bhutanese are about being hit in the head by a penis.

Be it a sculpture, a painting of the famed religious relic, Bhutan’s penises seem to have no problem about being engorged, erect and already flaunting some romanticized string of juice out of them. No, sir. Bhutanese penises have no need for generic Viagra; or at least that is what the passer by could infer from the thick-headed imagery.

If you are considering a career that involves having your penis adored, start saving for that trip to Tibet. Womanising Bhutanese women and turning she devils into deitis with your penis seems no easy task. Some penis this man must have had.

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