Routine Sex No More

If you have been in a relationship for a while things can cool down simply because you already know what happens next in the movie. You could be hanging from a swing, all leathered up or wearing the yummiest edible underwear that it won’t make a difference. When there is no wow factor, no surprise, things kind of shut down. It is not your partner, and it is certainly not you. You want to have hot and steamy sex, but you guys have fallen into the dreaded sex routine scenario.

Like any other symptomatic problem, admitting there is one is the first and most important step towards fixing a broken situation. After having agreed on the fact that there is a certain repetitive factor in what you do, it is time for the both of you to start making the big plans. Good communication is obviously key here; find what you both would like as well as each person’s individual needs. Have fun with it, don’t turn it into a business meeting (unless that turns you on, of course).

As we said just now, communication here is king. You want to keep your relationship going; you want a better pace even. Take the first step the right way and remember what you first felt like being close to your partner.  Go back and make a list of all the things you used to worry about and used to do to make her fall in love with you, to make her want you.

You are, after all, talking to someone who loves you and is most importantly attracted to you. Make the best of what you two have together to make it even better. Use or improve communication channels. You are not talking to some random person you just met; get comfortable and discuss what each of you would like. Talking can be sexy too, it may awake new things you can later look forward to.

When things go flat a good way of spicing things up is spontaneity. Remember sex is about stimulating all the senses and creating expectation. Try different places, or positions you have never practiced. Bring in new elements to action (there is no excuse for not trying some fun toy or something).

Of course there is role play and using props, but teaching and learning is certainly a must. If you take time to listen to what your partner needs and wants, things can improve for both parts.

And it has nothing to do with age or sexual preference. You can be 60 and using generic Viagra, or you could be 25 and going steady. There really is no one point in life to make the big turn around. You might step on this spot several times in your life; all there is to it is giving new things a try.

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