Back In The Game

Single dads and moms are a great part of society. These days with divorce rates skyrocketing more than ever and single parents choosing surrogate mothers, rent-a-womb options, in vitro fertilization and the traditional adoption agency options, single parenting is more the norm than the exception. However, new comers to the single parent playground find themselves somewhat overwhelmed by getting back into the whole dating scene, sex experiences included.

Getting back in the game can be pretty scary stuff. For some, entering the single parent dating game can be even more frightening than irresponsible and adolescent dating. More casual environments packed with loud music and little conversation were much less intimidating than, say, a date over coffee discussing your child’s performance at school. However, dating as a single parent need not be all serious and stiff. As a matter of fact, it should be as much fun as any other date, at any other stage in your life. Single parent dating just requires a little tweaking here and there.

Turns out single moms, in the case of us men prowling the dating jungle, are looking for pretty much the same things women look for in a relationship. However, these newly reborn wild cats now have much more experience in the art of hunting, and therefore are much more demanding (in a good way).

All women want first and foremost an honest relationship. Previously married women or those who just ended a long term relationship are likely to have suffered from dishonesty during their past relationship. And I’m not talking about cheating husbands or partners only. Failure to communicate those little things that make us tick and eventually make relationships crumble also fall in the not being honest or communicative category.

With honesty, as I already hinted, comes communication. At this point women prefer an honest relationship with someone they can trust and talk to in order to deal with life’s ups and downs. These women have greater responsibilities and want someone next to them that is as responsible as they are; someone they can also rely upon. If you are not feeling so sturdy right now, maybe you need to work on yourself first for a little while.

Single moms are not desperate women. As I said, they have high standards. These women too want to be the only one in your mind; they don’t care for what your ex used to cook on Valentine’s. If you are looking for a shoulder to cry on look for a sister, grandma or a buddy. Spare your date, girlfriend or partner from your past. If you feel you can’t deal with both things at the same time, make sure to deal with your past before you get yourself and her all tangled up.

Once you are past the “getting to trust you (aka getting to know you)” stage, sex is just around the corner, peaking out to jump and go all hormonal on you. Women are much more capable of putting on hold the whole “sex” thing if necessary (contrary to most, if not all, of us men). By no means assume you have to be some sex god extraordinaire. Actually, you should leave the dildos and lubes for after you have built trust between the two of you and the relationship is more sturdy. Get back to the basics. These may seem “standard”, but they are the basics for a reason: they work and work well. So start there.

If your lady friend is in fact a single mom or you a single dad, children are bound to come up at one time or another. Murphy is likely to make that “coming up” just the moment you are putting things in places. This point is non-negotiable. You are obliged to be understanding, patient and diligent when a situation that comes up has to do with her children. Children come first. So, if your date becomes interrupted because her kid calls saying he doesn’t feel so good, you say it is okay and take her home. Not only is it the correct thing to do, but she will reward you later.

Last but not least, always think condoms. No matter how old or young you are, you can never be too careful. A smart woman will actually appreciate you take such precautions; for her, it means you are taking care of your health and hers. Be the one to insist in using a condom, the more you trust each other, the better the relationship will grow, and the more you will be able to experiment with sex. Start looking for that generic Viagra! Looks like you are going to need it champ.

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