Skin Of A Sheep

Wolf and Sheepdog, Ralph and Sam, or whatever you want to call them; that is what I think about when someone mentions sheep. In case you are not familiar with my aforementioned reference, Ralph and Sam are Looney Toons and Merrie Melodies characters. Ralph, a close resemblance to the equally famous and more widely recognized Wile E. Coyote, is a sheep-seeking wolf, who goes through a number of unsuccessful plans to get his skinny wanting hands on one of those characteristic and clueless fluffy sheep, pasturing endlessly away in the timeless cartoon. Sam, a sedentary but unimaginably strong sheepdog is in charge of keeping the sheep safe. Man, I loved that show.

Anyway, as attractive as the sheep and their fluffiness were, it never occurred to me these unsuspecting little creatures could be anything other than funny characters in one of my favorite cartoon shows of all times. Of course, age and the so-called wisdom that accompanies growing up (loss of innocence, really), showed me otherwise. The puffy friends that accompanied Ralph, Sam and I throughout those magical years were later turned into other stuff I have to admit I also like. However, coming to terms with eating lamb chops and having my winter boots lined with their fluff was something I had a hard time with. Using and consuming your childhood friends can be something tough to deal with.

In any case, nowadays I continue to profusely salivate when my girlfriend bakes her world-famous lamb chops and mashed potatoes, and wearing wool-lined boots and wool-knit sweaters that make me look good are seldom an issue with me. What I did have a hard time with was dealing with the fact that people, to date, make condoms out of sheep intestines. Sheep intestines, people! Okay, sheep skin condoms – as these are usually referred to – are nothing new. As a matter of fact, some date sheep skin condoms all the way back to Ancient Rome times. Funny, because it is now a known fact that sheep skin condoms do not protect against STD’s; so it must have been only the straight guys in robes who used the condoms, I guess.

Compared to latex or polyurethane condoms, sheep skin “hoodies” are often called “eco-friendly condoms” or “green condoms”. Due to their organic nature, decomposition takes nothing compared to its rubber friends. The sheep intestine membrane called “Sheep Skin Condom” has proven to prevent pregnancy, yet not STD’s: the thin web that makes up the membrane is not able to retain STD-causing fluids, but sperm alone. As with other condom varieties, sheep skins are not 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. The upper hand of these eco-friends? Sheep skin condoms are the only pregnancy control in the form of a prophylactic for those allergic to latex or polyurethane. I know; you never thought anyone could be allergic to such a world-spread use item. Much like generic Viagra and penises, not all men or condoms are created equally.

There are, however, perks to using lambskin condoms. While several accuse “traditional” condoms of interferring with sensitivity and pleasure levels of intercourse, sheep skin condoms are considered to provide more intense sexual pleasure. The funky fellows are super thin; as thin as to allow much more intimacy, sensation and warmth than any rubber ever will (so far, at least). A fan of oil-based lubricant? Well, guess what; sheep skin condoms are the only in their class compatible with this slippery concoction.

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