Weird Things Women Do To Their Vaginas

In a day and age in which you can pretty much buy yourself a whole new you, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that women have fallen into the 90210 doctors’ play, and have they! Stating the obvious, heterosexual men love vaginas. Heterosexual men love women who let them near and into their vaginas. And heterosexual men are less aware of the so-called imperfections women’s vaginas supposedly have. Women are aware, and want them fixed. Or so says the vagina-me-pretty industry. What are women doing to one of men’s most favorite thing in the world?

The cosmetic industry, media and influential individuals have all made it possible for products like vaginal bleaching and labioplasty to make it big in the market. Digging a huge booby trap for women and their insecurities, manufacturers and inventors of these products and procedures have made a load of cash. A load. Having the “right” body type now comes not only with plastic boobs and over-plumped lips, but with squeaky pink vajayjays that have no labia, no moisture, no hair and no scent. Basically, the right vagina is a Barbie doll vagina. Pure pink plastic.

The whole “make your pussy pretty” movement started off with douches, back in the day when these were actually recommended to get rid of all vaginal secretions. Using a douche would supposedly work as an STD barrier, it would help the ladies get rid of menstrual residue and mostly, it would ride them off of that awful liquid thing called natural lubrication.

Today, there is labioplasty, vaginal rejuvenation and vaginal bleaching and dying. All of these interventions attempt to somehow “improve” the whole “look & feel” of the downstairs in women. Labioplasty is a surgical procedure that trims a woman’s labia under the excuse it is “too large”, “uneven”, “deformed” or “floppy”. Pretty much, labioplasty gives you a designer cooch Mattel would be happy to copy on one of their girls. Vaginal rejuvenation is another surgical procedure meant to “tighten up” loose vaginas and increase sexual pleasure. Turns out several medical authorities do not support this practice due to the risks and consequences it entails. Scaring, lack of sensation and others are not that sexy if you ask me. Last but not least, and equally disturbing, there is vaginal bleaching and dying. This procedure is undergone with a bleaching and dying product women can apply to their nether region in order to obtain a more pink vagina – way more desirable than whatever tone her vagina has, apparently.

Poor vaginas world-wide. If ladies are reading this, please stop torturing your pretty buds. Dudes, saddle up with your generic Viagra, vibrators or whatever it is you take to bed, and let ladies know you love their vaginas just the way they are: moist, warm and welcoming. For Barbie doll cooch, get a blow-up or one of those Adam & Eve Pink Lips Pussy Stroker.